The Ties That Bind

Oh man. Tomorrow is Father’s Day. I propose a Hallmark truce. Let’s call a year’s moratorium on all holidays designed to make thoughtless people (namely: me) look bad. I guess that’s basically just Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and Valentine’s Day. We can check back in a year and see if there’s a popular outcry for the holidays’ restoration.

Hmm, my initiative is probably too last minute to preempt the tie that awaits you. So remember to look surprised and delighted. (Full Disclosure: I am totally guilty of having given ties as Father’s Day presents.) Here’s hoping your family gives you something you’ll appreciate, like maybe some peace and quiet.

If you do manage to relax on Sunday – or if you’re in need of a quick diversion any other day of the year – here are some sites that I’ve found useful, informative, entertaining or otherwise stimulating. Check ‘em:

EDC: My new favorite site that doesn’t feature porn. EDC is short for Everyday Carry, and refers to the items one has on his person when he leaves the house. EDC highlights the specialized key rings, pocket knives, watches and clever accoutrements that enable guys to survive and sometimes flourish.

The contents of readers’ pockets are lovingly arranged, photographed, and labeled. The site’s editor usually adds his own earnest and respectful critique of the items. Nowadays I’m more concerned with the contents of the diaper bag than which folding knife to carry. But EDC serves as a wistful reminder of the days when I traveled light. Anyone looking for attractive and obscure shopping ideas will find pages of inspiration.

27b/6: This is my old favorite site that doesn’t feature porn. Like most of us, Aussie David Thorne finds fools to be massively irritating. Unlike the rest of us, he has a knack for engaging said fools, being even more irritating, and then humiliating them publicly. He is my hero.

David’s special gifts include being sarcastic, frustrating, condescending, and audacious… all qualities to which I aspire. He is also a remarkably effective asshole, but only to those individuals and companies that deserve it.

Full Screen Weather: There’s nothing inherently sexy about the weather, especially as forecast by Al Roker. But Full Screen Weather makes it appealing. Zoom in and toggle on the radar to see when that angry band of thunderstorms will douse your ass. Make up-to-the-minute predictions like a real-deal meteorologist, without having to get your stomach stapled. Save yourself some mouse clicks and bookmark this puppy.

Uncrate: Appallingly awesome gear, tech, autos, plus the latest inventions: Uncrate tends to scoop everybody else on stuff guys covet (but that doesn’t feature porn… hey what is it with you today?)

Recent listings include the John Deere Autonomous Mower (think Roomba for your lawn); a butterfly knife styled bottle opener (to complement your switchblade comb, for the ultimate in benign menace); and cooking salt made from tears.

The site features an impressive mix of luxury, novelty and affordability. Be forewarned: a man can waste a lot of time here.

That’s what I’ve got. Four sites chock full of excellence, ideas, and inspiration. May your Father’s Day bring the same.

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2 Responses to The Ties That Bind

  1. Michele June 16, 2012 at 7:20 pm #

    I gave my (step)Dad the “Shit My Dad Says”, a book that is just as awesome as the title makes you think it would be… May Fox one day give it to you! (It’s a great little piece- hysterical!)

  2. Amanda June 17, 2012 at 8:44 pm #

    I’m all for the moratorium on these holidays. No one got anything from us this year. We were ill with the flu this entire week. We didn’t even leave the house for 6 days. Nothing got purchased, mailed, nada. Frankly, if no one understands, then they didn’t deserve a card anyway.

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