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Scout’s Honor?

Just catching up on news in the parent world. What’s this about the Boy Scouts prohibiting gay troop leaders? Are they for serious? I always took for granted that the scouts were a gay-friendly organization…

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Hoffman and Redford

Pop Quiz

The Pulitzer Prize winners will be announced Monday. I’m always amazed that men win awards for journalism. Because we make the absolute worst reporters — especially when it comes to domestic issues.

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Taliban Soldier

Terrorist Twos

Until the administration clarifies its policy on drone strikes targeting American citizens, I would like to address the recent speculation regarding my son, Fox.

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Red Rocks 2

Dad, Interrupted

Oh man. Have I seriously not blogged since October? Time to power up the defibrillator and revive Daddy Confidential – if only to satisfy the persistent pleadings of my loyal fan.

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coal miners in Red Lion, PA, 1946

MythBusters – Parenting Edition

At Gymboree last week a woman nodded in the direction of the cavorting toddlers, smiled at me and said, “Which one’s yours?” I shrugged and began to tell her, “No kids. I’m just some sketchball.”

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badass bus

Get On The Bus

Mornings have seen a massive traffic increase on local roads. The congestion coincided with the start of the school year. A neighbor explained it’s because of parents driving their kids to school. Upon reflection, this is way more plausible than my pet theory – that the extra drivers are all psychoanalysts, back from August vacation.

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Kristen Stewart in Snow White and the Huntsman

The Mothership Connection

Oh man. I’ve been lying low, mostly owing to intense media scrutiny over my alleged affair with Kristen Stewart. Sorry to disappoint any tabloid hacks looking for a sound bite, but I will neither confirm nor deny the affair.

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Happy Father's Day

The Ties That Bind

Oh man. Tomorrow is Father’s Day. I propose a Hallmark truce. Let’s call a year’s moratorium on all holidays designed to make thoughtless people (namely: me) look bad. I guess that’s basically just Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and Valentine’s Day. We can check back in a year and see if there’s a popular outcry for […]

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When naming twins, it's hard to improve on Zan and Jayna.

Call Me Ishmael, Part Deux

Did you know the Social Security Administration tabulates data for the most popular names given to twins? People have a tendency to get cutesy with twins, as though the right names might clinch that audition for the Doublemint gum commercial.

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Haywood's SS card

Call Me Ishmael

I freakin love baby names because new parents are super-sensitive, and everyone else is hyper-opinionated. It’s a perfect recipe for hurt feelings and resentment. The only thing people enjoy criticizing more than your baby name selection is your wedding.

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