Mix Tapes

Liner Notes

I suffer from that perennial problem: I’m totally sick of my music. Even though my music collection is way awesomer than yours, familiarity breeds contempt. And I can’t get through life without a constant feed of groovy tunes.

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young gun

Fire When Ready

Oh man. Like a lot of parents, I have some ambivalence about letting my son play with toy guns. Are they a stepping-stone on the path to trigger-happy sadism? Or do they offer teachable moments about informed citizenship?

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badass bus

Get On The Bus

Mornings have seen a massive traffic increase on local roads. The congestion coincided with the start of the school year. A neighbor explained it’s because of parents driving their kids to school. Upon reflection, this is way more plausible than my pet theory – that the extra drivers are all psychoanalysts, back from August vacation.

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kiddie pool

Sink Or Swim

Oh man. Wasn’t it summer like, a few hours ago? Weren’t we just complaining about the heat? From now on if I take my son swimming, it’s on borrowed seasonal time.

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Rock Meadow

Sex And The Suburbs, Part Deux

Oh man. It’s our third month since moving from Manhattan to the Boston suburbs. I’d like a falafel, please.

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Kristen Stewart in Snow White and the Huntsman

The Mothership Connection

Oh man. I’ve been lying low, mostly owing to intense media scrutiny over my alleged affair with Kristen Stewart. Sorry to disappoint any tabloid hacks looking for a sound bite, but I will neither confirm nor deny the affair.

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Gymbo

Insane Clown Posse

Oh man. If I have to accompany my son to one more “class” at Gymboree, they may give me a time out. Turns out I’m terrible at faking participation in inane activities.

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chums

Soap Dish

Oh man. Bathing a baby was wondrously uncomplicated a generation ago. You washed their hair with Johnson & Johnson’s baby shampoo. The “no more tears” claim was reassuring, if a bit suspect. But at least it stung less than, say, Prell.

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Fox's pets, Haywood and PJ

Dog Days

Oh man. Technically I have only one offspring. But I’m going to start counting my wife as a second child. For starters, she has the culinary preferences of an eight year-old. Sarah’s favorite foods include Pop-Tarts, Cookie Crisp cereal, and Hostess Sno Balls.

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Deflated - image by Skateblizz via flickr

Chaos Theory

Oh man. This month is from hell. It began with a tortuous move from the city to the suburbs. Our movers kept complaining about the stairs on our front stoop, as though negotiating stairs wasn’t part of the job description. You’d think we’d concealed the true location of our Manhattan apartment building, and instead led […]

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