Happy Father's Day

The Ties That Bind

Oh man. Tomorrow is Father’s Day. I propose a Hallmark truce. Let’s call a year’s moratorium on all holidays designed to make thoughtless people (namely: me) look bad. I guess that’s basically just Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and Valentine’s Day. We can check back in a year and see if there’s a popular outcry for […]

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photo by hopefulhero via flickr

End Of The Nanny State

So we’ve moved from Manhattan to the Boston suburbs. A few days ago we loaded up the sedan with toddler, dog, cat, and whatever possessions we couldn’t entrust to the movers. I packed the trunk tighter than a crab’s ass.

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When naming twins, it's hard to improve on Zan and Jayna.

Call Me Ishmael, Part Deux

Did you know the Social Security Administration tabulates data for the most popular names given to twins? People have a tendency to get cutesy with twins, as though the right names might clinch that audition for the Doublemint gum commercial.

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Haywood's SS card

Call Me Ishmael

I freakin love baby names because new parents are super-sensitive, and everyone else is hyper-opinionated. It’s a perfect recipe for hurt feelings and resentment. The only thing people enjoy criticizing more than your baby name selection is your wedding.

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Suckers For Boobs

It’s fun to pretend we have impassioned views on extreme breastfeeding. But the truth is we’re just suckers for boobs.

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Please Be Kind And Rewind

Oh man. I’m feeling old. It’s not for the usual reasons, like when I start to sit and I pinch my pants at the knees and give them a little hike. Or when my wife (nine years my junior) catches me using a word like mimeograph when I mean Xerox.

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loose monkeys

Go Figure

Oh man. My toddler son is dabbling in entomology. Also ichthyology. And if you’ll indulge me, he’s quite the budding primatologist. Normally I’m quick to take credit for any and all of our son’s cognitive flourishes. (Did you hear him say “stethoscope”? I taught him that.)

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Do You Read Me?

Oh man. So like, aren’t CB radios way overdue for a comeback? Ditto for the lingo. I don’t fare too well with Tweet-speak. SMS shorthand like 2moro and ROTFLMAO are efficient but lack poetry. And I have never in my life typed the abbreviation for laughing out loud. (If you’re determined to chuckle in three […]

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Study Finds Link Between Bacon And Autism

Oh man. Is everyone having a good Autism Awareness Month? I for one, am having a ball. (It’s a tactile sensory ball, thankyouverymuch.) Granted autism has had some stiff competition. April is also Jazz Appreciation Month, as well as Sexual Assault Awareness Month. But autism is winning, because I’ve seen no headlines for the latter […]

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composite image by extrastuff15 via flickr

Subversive vs. Sellout

Parenting is a minefield of controversy. We can let the womenfolk handle trivial issues, like whether to vaccinate, or make babies cry it out. We dads need to tackle the tough topics requiring steely resolve and a firm grasp of the facts. Today’s prediliction: Batman or Superman?

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